Lessons

Character

Kindness at home and with neighbours

Learn how Islamic teachings guide our daily words and actions toward family, neighbours, and guests.

3 short lessons · about 4 min · every point has its source

1. Honouring parents and family at home

Honouring family begins right inside the home. When the Prophet ﷺ was asked about the deeds dearest to Allah, he placed being dutiful to one's parents right after prayer at its fixed time.¹ A man once came to pledge allegiance to the Prophet ﷺ for migration and jihad seeking reward from Allah, but the Prophet ﷺ told him to return to his living parents and treat them with kindness.²

Allah commands people to treat parents well and never to utter even a word of annoyance to them. Even when parents reach old age, believers must speak to them with honor and gentleness.³ The Prophet ﷺ also warned that bringing abuse or curses upon one's parents is a grave sin.⁴

This circle of kindness reaches outward to relatives as well. In the Quran, Allah commands doing good to parents and relatives directly alongside worshipping Him alone.⁵ The Prophet ﷺ taught that keeping ties of kinship brings affection among relatives, increases wealth, and lengthens one's lifespan.⁶ Staying in regular contact through kind words and gentle visits keeps these family ties strong.

2. Living peacefully with your neighbours

Allah instructs believers to worship Him alone and to do good to parents, relatives, near neighbours, and neighbours who are farther away.⁵ The Prophet ﷺ explained that a neighbour has a greater right to property that is near.⁷ Our faith shows us that kindness extends naturally to the people living closest to our doors.

Living peacefully means shielding those around us from distress. The Prophet ﷺ taught that whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day must not harm or insult their neighbour.⁸ Believers are guided to treat their neighbours with kindness.⁹ Sharing food or greeting them with warmth easily puts this teaching into practice.

Hospitality toward visitors is another noble practice linked directly to belief. The Prophet ﷺ taught that whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain their guest generously.¹⁰ A host provides high quality food for a day and a night, and standard hospitality lasts for three days. Any food provided after that time counts as sadaqah, which means a voluntary charitable gift.¹¹ At the same time, a guest is not permitted to stay so long that it puts the host in a difficult position.¹²

3. Guarding your tongue and wishing good

Words hold great weight in our journey of faith. The Quran calls on believers to fear Allah and speak words of appropriate justice.¹³ Those who listen to speech and follow the best of it are described as guided by Allah and possessing understanding.¹⁴ In addition, speaking with gentle speech can help remind a listener or awaken fear of Allah.¹⁵ Learning to choose our words with care helps us reflect these values in our conversations.

Our everyday tongue is closely tied to our belief. The Prophet ﷺ taught that anyone who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet.¹⁰ When emotions run high or conversation turns toward harmful gossip, choosing silence is a wise shield. Pausing before speaking allows us to avoid regret and protects those around us from hurtful words.

Guarding the tongue also flows from what we hold inside our hearts. The Prophet ﷺ stated that none of you will have faith until he wishes for his brother what he likes for himself.¹⁶ When we sincerely want blessings, ease, and goodness for other people, our speech naturally becomes kinder, warmer, and more encouraging.

Sources

1. Sahih al-Bukhari 527 Read it in full
   Narrated `Abdullah: I asked the Prophet (ﷺ) "Which deed is the dearest to Allah?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents" I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, 'To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause." `Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet (ﷺ) would have told me more
2. Sahih Muslim 2549d Read it in full
   Yazid b. Abu Habib reported that Na'im, the freed slave of Umm Salama, reported to him that 'Abdullah b. 'Amr b. 'As said: There came to Allah's Apostle (ﷺ) a person and said: I owe allegiance to you for migration and Jihad seeking reward only from Allah. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Is one from amongst your parents living? He said: Yes, of course, both are living. He further asked: Do you want to seek reward from Allah? He said: Yes. Thereupon Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: Go back to your parents and accord them benevolent treatment
3. Quran 17:23 (Al-Isra)
   And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word
4. Sahih al-Bukhari 5973 Read it in full
   Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said. "It is one of the greatest sins that a man should curse his parents." It was asked (by the people), "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! How does a man curse his parents?" The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "'The man abuses the father of another man and the latter abuses the father of the former and abuses his mother
5. Quran 4:36 (An-Nisa)
   Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him, and to parents do good, and to relatives, orphans, the needy, the near neighbor, the neighbor farther away, the companion at your side, the traveler, and those whom your right hands possess. Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful
6. Jamiʿ at-Tirmidhi 1979
   Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said: "Learn enough about your lineage to facilitate keeping your ties of kinship. For indeed keeping the ties of kinship encourages affection among the relatives, increases the wealth, and increases the lifespanGrading: Ahmad Muhammad Shakir: Sahih; Al-Albani: Sahih; Zubair Ali Zai: Isnaad Hasan
7. Sunan an-Nasaʾi 4702
   It was narrated that Abu Rafi said: "The Messenger of Allah said" "The neighbor has more right to property that is nearGrading: Abu Ghuddah: Sahih; Al-Albani: Sahih; Zubair Ali Zai: Sahih Bukhari
8. Sahih al-Bukhari 6475 Read it in full
   Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet, and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not hurt (or insult) his neighbor; and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should entertain his guest generously
9. Sahih Muslim 47a Read it in full
   It is reported on the authority of Abu Huraira that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) observed: He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should either utter good words or better keep silence; and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should treat his neighbour with kindness and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should show hospitality to his guest
10. Sahih al-Bukhari 6018 Read it in full
    Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should not harm his neighbor, and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should entertain his guest generously and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet. (i.e. abstain from all kinds of evil and dirty talk)
11. Sahih al-Bukhari 6019 Read it in full
    Narrated Abu Shuraih Al-Adawi: My ears heard and my eyes saw the Prophet (ﷺ) when he spoke, "Anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his neighbor generously, and anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should serve his guest generously by giving him his reward." It was asked. "What is his reward, O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)?" He said, "(To be entertained generously) for a day and a night with high quality of food and the guest has the right to be entertained for three days (with ordinary food) and if he stays longer, what he will be provided with will be regarded as Sadaqa (a charitable gift). And anybody who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet (i.e. abstain from all kinds of dirty and evil talks)
12. Sahih al-Bukhari 6135 Read it in full
    Narrated Abu Shuraih Al-Ka`bi: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his guest generously. The guest's reward is: To provide him with a superior type of food for a night and a day and a guest is to be entertained with food for three days, and whatever is offered beyond that, is regarded as something given in charity. And it is not lawful for a guest to stay with his host for such a long period so as to put him in a critical position." Narrated Malik: Similarly as above (156) adding, "Who believes in Allah and the Last Day should talk what is good or keep quiet." (i.e. abstain from dirty and evil talk, and should think before uttering)
13. Quran 33:70 (Al-Ahzab)
    O you who have believed, fear Allah and speak words of appropriate justice
14. Quran 39:18 (Az-Zumar)
    Who listen to speech and follow the best of it. Those are the ones Allah has guided, and those are people of understanding
15. Quran 20:44 (Taha)
    And speak to him with gentle speech that perhaps he may be reminded or fear [Allah]
16. Sahih al-Bukhari 13 Read it in full
    Narrated Anas: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself

Every point in this lesson rests on a verse of the Quran or a hadith, listed above. Hadith come from Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, or from other collections only where every listed scholar graded them sahih or hasan. Found a mistake? Tell us.

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